Real
by MissCrookedSmile
Summary: Three robins in tuxedos use their detective skills at one of their mentor's banquets to study their father: Apparently, one of the guests has managed to catch both the Bat's and Bruce Wayne's real attention.


"Look at that" Tim said as he elbowed his older 'brother'. Dick looked in the same direction, exclaiming a snort when he tried to suppress his surprised laughter.

"He is so predictable" Tim followed up, his eyes glued to Bruce and his latest acquaintance.

"What?" Damian demanded more than asked. His father had been flirting all night with everything in a tight dress. It was part of his cover, he had been told. And the woman he talked to just now fit that description perfectly.

"Selina Kyle just entered the banquet" Dick explained as he took another sip of his watered down cocktails. All three of Bruce Wayne's sons were proudly put on display in matching tuxedos and had only just recently been let go by the press who wanted to make adorable front page stories. Tim and Dick had already guessed the headline: "Three generations saved by Gotham's favorite son – see the pictures inside".

"What is Catwoman doing here?" Damian demanded again. If there was a chance he could get out of this monkey suit and into his uniform, he wanted to know now!

"I don't think she has come here as Catwoman" Tim added, noticing all the little hints Bruce had taught him to recognize in a person's body language. Bruce probably never thought he would be the one under scrutiny.

"From the looks of it, her objective is definitely not valuables." Dick elaborated. "Unless you're thinking about the Wayne family jewels!" He didn't even try to suppress his snickering this time.

Tim awarded the joke with a discrete fist bumb, which only infuriated Damian even more.

"What on earth are you talking about? My father would never stoop to such…" he didn't manage to find the proper insult before Dick bended down and nodded towards Bruce and Selina with his fake drink.

"Take a look at the lack of personal space between the two."

"And how their hips are placed" Tim continued. "And the way that she touches him every chance she gets."

"All the woman are like that around my father" Damian maintained.

"But how many of them does Bruce react to like that" Dick triumphed when Bruce sent Selina a crooked smile and grabbed her hand off his chest. He held it for a full four seconds before kissing it and letting her go.

"And she doesn't flirt with the billionaire like the rest of the socialites" Tim started again. "No fake laughter, no desperate look in her eyes, no attempt at dragging him around the room to meet important people…"

"You're only proving my point, Drake." Damian was almost as stubborn as he father and wouldn't accept the facts. Especially when they were presented to him by Tim Drake. "She doesn't even try! Besides, she is a criminal and my father doesn't fraternize with crooks. _HE_ has morals." The boy took a determined sip of his coke as to underline his point.

"And how do you think you were made?" Tim added before quickly stepping back behind Dick. Damian's fist didn't reach him in time and Dick managed to dodge the blow awkwardly enough for it to seem realistic.

Selina let a finger run over Bruce's chin before they departed. They kissed cheeks, a European habit most rich Gothamites had chosen to adopt, but Tim and Dick were certain Selina used the occasion to whisper an offer into the playboy's ear. Bruce's smile proved them right. Definitely some Bat in that! As she left him, he turned around and headed towards his sons.

"Oh God, here comes the awkward left-pocket-skip" Tim warned and Dick nodded concurringly. It was only two steps later that Bruce placed his hand in his left pant pocket and skipped a step, as if he was trying to fall in line with a specific rhythm.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" the youngest stated, for the first time more confused than angry. Tim chose to elaborate in order to prove his point:

"Bruce 'enjoyed' that specific talk so much that he had to 're-organize' – how much more proof do you want?"

But Damian didn't get to answer before Bruce was standing in front of them.

"Everything okay here?" he asked in the still cheerful tone of Bruce Wayne. Dick had gotten used to the shift in his voice through the years, but Tim and Damian still found the tone strange and unfamiliar.

"Super" Dick said optimistically. "I only think _half_ of Blüdhaven's cops will bully me with that front page."

Bruce of course had an agenda and therefore ignored the concerned joke. As soon as he was close enough, he whispered in the more familiar Bat-growl:

"I have to check up on a contact through the 'secure line' downstairs. Stay in sight of the tabloids while I'm gone."

He then hastened off, leaving Tim and Dick sharing saying looks.

"That does not prove anything!" Damian stated once more, even though he knew the other two had been right all along. Tim tried not to find too much pride in turning the boy around as he pointed at Selina, who was headed in the exact same direction only 30 steps behind Bruce.

"My bet is we'll not see them the next 20 minutes."

"Try 10. It's been months since they disappeared like that." Dick added, shaking his head as he led his two brothers towards the flashing cameras. Bruce deserved the break.


End file.
